New Inventions

Over the years, I have conceived of many get-rich-slow products the world needs. Such as:

DamnItAll: what to take when things just aren’t going right (I’ve been popping quite a bit of DamnItAll lately.)

BoogerBGone: a strip of super-absorbent and disposable cloths to catch those unattractive nasal drips that plague riders on ski chair lifts.

The Cape Ann Faggot: finally, a solution for what to do with the billion or so 10-inch catalpa bean pods that clatter around the yard all winter. I’m sure they’d burn great.

Crisis-of-the-Day Website: for those unfortunates who are bossed around by the horrifically insecure, a place to vent and share. Maybe a use for hell.com?

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